Weight of Regret Read online

  I jump slightly at his condescending tone. “Of course I am. You know I’ve been wanting my own account for some time now. It’s just—there’s usually a different process to all of this, and Mallory is normally part of that process. I’m making sure I’m not missing anything.”

  “You’ve been at Urgency for a year now. Your annual review is approaching, and you’ve yet to manage a single project on your own.”

  “Not for lack of deserving one.” My sharp tone rivals his, which I’ve learned is exactly what Dexter Van Clark gets off on.

  His chin rises at my challenge before he slides a black folder from his desk and waves it in the air like he’s dangling bait. “Well, then now is your time to shine, Miss Davies. Prove to me that you’re capable of managing all aspects of this reopening, from start to finish, and then we can talk about your future at Urgency. Consider this a probationary promotion.”

  I swallow while measuring my next move. He’s not going to get up from that chair to hand me that folder. He wants me to walk around his desk and take it. Without another second of delay, I rise and do as he expects.

  He turns his chair at my approach, showcasing a fully hard erection fighting its way through his shiny gray pants. I wish I didn’t find it insanely hot and that my skin didn’t go flush at the sight. He can probably see my own arousal written on my face. And if I get any closer, he’ll be able to hear the shallow breaths that escape. I need to stand my ground.

  I keep a couple feet of distance between us and reach for the folder he holds out to me. But when I go to take it, his grip is unrelenting as he keeps hold of one side of the folder and stares directly into my eyes. “Looking rather delectable today, Miss Davies.” His voice is low and raspy, and I swear I feel it vibrating between my thighs.

  He gives a little tug of the folder we’re both gripping, causing me to stumble the last couple of steps and land directly between his opened legs. Sleek, manicured fingers grip my chin while yanking me to his greedy mouth. Then he groans before sliding his tongue against mine like he’s trying to claim it the way he does with everything else he wants.

  “Fuck me,” he growls.

  My heart jerks into my throat, and my skin blisters with the potential embarrassment of getting caught. “What?” I laugh. “Now?”

  He presses a kiss to my neck and reaches between my legs. “Do you have a problem with my request, Miss Davies?”

  My body trembles against his touch. “Your request is highly inappropriate, considering Mallory is due to your office for a meeting any minute now.”

  He lifts his brows with a challenge as his fingers graze the fabric over my opening. “You’ll be relieved to know I’ve already pushed her meeting. We have fifteen minutes.” Smooth fingers slip beneath the thin fabric to find my aching center. “Unless you’d like for me to call her in here so she can watch everything I’m about to do to you.”

  My glare is teasing. “You wouldn’t.”

  He hums and pushes two fingers deep inside me so fast, a gasp flies from my throat. “You’re right. I’m not the sharing type.” He bends his fingers at their deepest point, his gaze shifting to where his hand disappears beneath my skirt. “Besides, I happen to recall you charging in here like time was of the essence. I would hate to keep you from more important matters.”

  His thumb toys with my clit, a deep pleasurable hum vibrating from his chest.

  “Perhaps I can reprioritize my to-do list.”

  A cocky smile curves his lips. “Fucking your boss should always be at the top of your priority list, Miss Davies.”

  He jerks his hand out from inside me, slips my panties down to my ankles, and lifts me onto his desk—all while he remains sitting. I’m already panting when he rolls his chair closer to me and shoves my skirt up to my waist, exposing me to him and to the window at his back. I’ve walked by the downtown high-rise building enough times to know there’s no shot of seeing what’s inside them during the day, but the fact that I can still see everything outside adds an unexpected thrill to his foreplay, if I can even call it that. Dexter is a busy man, which usually means he’s all about getting straight to the point.

  He stands while unbuttoning his cuffs before rolling them up his forearms, his gaze never leaving my heated center. His tongue darts out, wetting his bottom lip, and then he drops his pants and pushes inside me, almost as fast as his fingers entered me. I never even saw him roll on the condom, but I feel the barrier between us.

  Urgency. It took me two minutes during my first interview with the man to understand why he named his company what he did. Come to find out, he fucks with that same passion. Like he’ll die if he doesn’t make me come apart in record time.

  “I missed you,” he rasps, his lust-filled gaze fascinated with where we’re connected before his lids flip up to lock on mine. “New York wasn’t the same without you, Hope.”

  Hope. It still sounds strange when I hear him say my first name. Even though our fling has been a four-month affair by this point, I’m only Miss Davies in the office.

  We first formed a connection on our way to a client meeting in New York City. My heart was still raw over Anderson’s rejection and from leaving the camp I’d come to know as my home. Dexter was the last person I ever expected to pull me from the darkness, but he was just the distraction I needed, at a time when I needed it most. To my surprise, our connection turned into a hookup and quickly took roots from there, continuing well beyond what I’d anticipated, but we’ve yet to make anything official.

  Dexter lifts my hips, so I’m no longer seated, and he pounds into me faster while I press my palms hard against the desk. He does all the work, his dominant nature something I’ve had to adjust to. Whenever I even attempt to take control, he steals it right back, like he’s the only one who can bring me to orgasm.

  “Fuck yes,” he says through gritted teeth. His pleading eyes lock on me. “Tell me you’re with me.”

  “I’m right there with you.”

  My assurance must have been the key to unlock the floodgate, because he’s spilling inside of me almost as soon as I’m done with my sentence.

  His mouth slams to mine. “I’ll never get enough of you. These next two weeks are going to be pure torture without you right down the hall.”

  My lips curl at the corners because no matter how impatient of a man he might be, he’s still sexy as hell. “You act like I’m leaving tomorrow.”

  His eyes widen, and he pulls back slightly. “I didn’t tell you? You do leave tomorrow. Bright and early to catch the first ferry out.”

  A flurry of emotions whip through me—emotions I can’t quite make sense of. I let out a laugh to cover my discomfort. “Ferry? Where exactly are you sending me?”

  Dexter grins, slips the black envelope off his desk again, and offers it to me. This time, he lets me take it. “It’s all in here. Everything you need to know about our new client. Where to go, who you’ll meet, what your job entails. You’ll mostly be at their beck and call to ensure their reopening is a huge success. And Hope”—his sharp eyes burn into mine—“this may be a small job now, but the potential is huge, especially considering their connections. I need you to bring your A game.”

  More discomfort mounts within me. Something seems wrong, but I can’t sort through my thoughts fast enough to realize why I feel this way. Staring down at the envelope, I’m almost fearful to open it.

  “Come to dinner with me tonight.”

  His demand is almost as shocking as the opportunity he’s handed me today. “W-what? Aren’t you going out with your investors?”

  He nods. “I am. And they’re eager to meet the mystery woman I’ve been all wrapped up in. It’s time I start showing you off. As my girlfriend.”

  My head is spinning. “Y-Your girlfriend?” I’m completely flattered while also completely terrified. “You and I both know how fast news travels in this industry. The rumor mill will go crazy in this office when they find out we’ve been sleeping together.”

  “Who cares?” He scoffs. “I own the company. Who I date is of no concern to my employees. Besides, the longer we keep our relationship a secret, the more risk there is that they’ll find out on their own.”

  I hitch a brow. “My review is coming up, remember? I need to be on my best behavior.”

  His gaze drops to where I’m still completely bare. “I’d say your behavior has been indecent at best today.”

  I close my legs and shove my skirt down with a laugh. “I blame my boss for propositioning me to begin with.”

  He sits up and places his hands on my hips, not playing into my teasing. “Hope, I don’t want you to be my dirty little secret anymore. At first, it made sense for us to keep things between us, but we’re past that now.”

  I tilt my head. “Are we?” My feelings are not the same, considering I’m the one with everything to lose. “I’ve worked hard to earn respect with everyone here.”

  “They’ll still respect you.” He’s as confident as he is demanding. “I’ll make sure of it.”

  I sigh, knowing there’s no arguing with him. The best I can do is buy myself more time.

  There’s a light tapping on the door I recognize as belonging to Mallory. I scramble off the desk to grab my underwear.

  “One moment,” Dexter booms then turns back to me.

  I ignore his stare while I situate my clothing, realizing that this might be the first time I’ve felt relief from Mallory’s presence.

  “Let’s make a deal,” he says, giving up on getting me to look at him. “You’re going to be gone working on this project. Take that time to think about what you want from us. We’ll talk when you’re back.”

  My head jerks up, assessing his expression. His words feel like an ultimatum. He didn’t phrase it that way,
but the hint of what could happen when I return to Seattle has my stomach tied up in knots. “If that’s what you want.”

  His jaw ticks, and he nods while his gray eyes become colder at my response. “We both know what I want, Miss Davies. The question is, what do you want?”

  I step forward and hold on to his lapel. “I want you, Dexter.”

  He lifts his brows. “Tell me that in two weeks, and I just might believe you.” He steps to the side so he can get around me. “Our time is up,” he booms theatrically for Mallory’s benefit. “I have another appointment.”

  I follow him, only stopping at the door to face him one last time. I’m so shaken up, I can’t even look him in the eyes. “Thank you for the opportunity, Mr. Van Clark.”

  “Don’t thank me yet, Miss Davies.” He nods to the envelope I’m still clutching in my right hand. “Study up. There’s a lot of history in there you should brush up on. The family who owns the camp you’ll be going to has owned it for decades. Since the father retired, he left the business to his four sons, but only one of them still works there. I don’t think they’re all on speaking terms. I don’t know why.”

  The air goes cold, and suddenly it’s as though everything is moving in slow motion. Every sip of air feels like a struggle to breathe. His words are the final pieces of a puzzle clicking in place. And now I understand why Silver was the one who recommended me for the job.

  “You’re sending me to Camp Bexley?” I ask, needing the confirmation before I react in any way.

  Dexter looks amused by my guess. “You know of it?”

  It amazes me how little Dexter knows about my past. “I used to work there. It was on my resume,” I add, wondering if that will trigger anything for him.

  “Ah, your old stomping grounds. Even better. I guess you won’t have much studying to do after all.” He winks, and for a second, I think the two of us might be okay, but then I remember where he’s sending me.

  Back to Orcas Island.

  Back to Camp Bexley.

  Back to him.

  Chapter Three

  Anderson

  The hours tick by, well past the time the marketing representative that Silver hired was scheduled to arrive. As I work through the day, tending to the stables, checking on contractors who are unloading furniture and boxes of decor into the newer cabins, and analyzing financial documents in my office, eight o’clock in the morning becomes noon, then noon becomes four in the evening—at which point I’m convinced Silver relayed the information wrong.

  Major fail, I type with quick fingers. The saving grace you hired is a no-show.

  What?! Silver responds quickly. There’s no way. The contract was signed, and the owner himself assured me she would be there first thing in the morning. Maybe her ferry was delayed. Let me check.

  Annoyance rumbles through me. One of the things my father instilled in all his sons since we were little was the importance of respecting the time we give and take from others. The fact that a professional company is sending me an employee who doesn’t show up on time is a major red flag.

  Maybe this was a bad idea. I let out a heavy sigh, realizing my negative attitude might come across as ungrateful when Silver was only trying to help. Thank you for everything, but I can figure this out on my own.

  She’s quick to type back. Calm down. She’s already there.

  I sit back in my chair, and my eyes lock on the security feed aimed at the empty parking lot. No, she’s not. I’m staring at the parking lot now.

  Not there at the camp yet, but she’s on the island. She says she’s heading there now.

  Confused at how Silver has access to this person when I don’t even know the woman’s name is beyond me, but as I’m about to type another disgruntled message, a fancy white car enters the parking lot.

  It’s not a great first impression—not at all—but I promise Silver I’ll be nice to the poor marketing rep then begin my short walk to greet her.

  Walking the trails always feels so strange during these blackout weeks when staff is absent. The camp is naturally peaceful but hardly ever quiet. Not when kids are tearing down the trails, splashing into the lake, and screaming during playtime on the big, open field.

  I know that these are the times when I should allow myself to bask in the stillness of it all and just breathe. But at thirty-six years old, it’s harder than ever to turn my brain off, even when I need to most. There’s always something to worry about or fix. And I find it difficult not to resent my brothers for leaving me to manage it all on my own.

  Then again, why should I be surprised? Everyone leaves. I’ve grown used to that disheartening fact. I’ve had to after all that I’ve experienced over the years with different guests every week and employee turnover. Camp is where everyone comes for a good time. It’s not where they stay forever. There’s too much heartbreak in attachment, which is why I keep my personal and business relationships at arm’s length. Life is safer that way.

  My focus moves back to the sports car that’s now parked in one of the first stalls. The door finally opens and a metallic-gold high heel plants itself on the concrete, followed by another.

  Dread fills me at my second negative impression of this woman. First, she’s late. Second, she’s dressed like she’s expecting five-star accommodations, which is the complete opposite of what she’s about to get.

  Working my way from her impressive heels, I pan up to find her wearing an equally impressive silky, yellow jumpsuit that stops above the ankles, and a short white blazer around her shoulders and arms. Thick and long brown hair curls down her back, bright pink lipstick coats her pouty lips, and big black shades act like a mask hiding half her face. Until she bows her head and slips them off and I get my first true look at the woman I’m supposed to trust to help with my grand reopening.

  I’m not sure what stops working first—my heart or my throat. But the second I recognize Hope is the moment the pain of losing her comes crashing and burning all around me. The damage I did, the woman I lost, the deep-seeded desire I smothered like it wasn’t the last flame left standing in my life.

  She was the one. The only one I’d ever felt could make my dimly lit world a better place, and I pushed her away as though she didn’t even matter.

  “Hello, Anderson. I’m sorry I’m late, but I—” She shakes her head, her face flush with embarrassment—or unease. Whatever it is, she’s nothing like the bubbly and always-smiling woman I remember. “I was getting reacquainted with my surroundings. It’s been a while.” She steps forward, shooting her hand out to shake mine.

  I stare at it, confused by her professionalism, but I take it, because I suppose I should play along. Her hand is soft to the touch, but firm in my grip, like a true business professional. It seems she’s taken to her new city life quite well. But my brain is still clicking together like a puzzle, wondering how the hell I hadn’t seen this one coming. Or rather, how I hadn’t suspected Silver was up to more than she was letting on when she told me to trust her.

  “Nice to see you again.” They’re my first awkward words spoken to her after a year apart, and I curse myself in my head at how cold they sound coming out. But it’s as if I’m looking at a stranger.

  Her smile is pinched when she takes her hand back. “Right. Well, once I get situated, we can get started.” Her focus darts over my shoulder, and her eyes become glossy for a moment. Just as fast, she seems to snap out of whatever thoughts took hold, and she’s walking to her trunk while pushing a button on her clicker.

  “Fancy car,” I comment. Now that I have a better view, I see that the car is a brand-new Honda Accord coupe, all decked out with tan leather, a sunroof, and a spoiler.

  She avoids returning my gaze this time while reaching into her trunk. “Can you believe it’s the first car I ever purchased for myself? The clunker my parents gave me in high school was good to me, but it started breaking down every day the moment I moved to Seattle. I tried fixing her countless times until my boss convinced me to move on.”

  I remember her old car well. She’d barely driven it, but it was unmistakably hers, with its faded cherry red exterior and fuzzy dice in the mirror. It always seemed like she was so proud of her one and only possession that she’d brought to camp.